advice on girlfriend

[dzsmith]

So this is way off topic, but thats why im putting it here. Im active duty navy and have been dating the same girl since i have been in. She lives in Spokane,Wa and i only get to see her when i go on leave a couple times a year. This is the girl I plan on marrying and I am looking fwd to getting out the navy may 2012 to be with her and go back to school. She has recently broken up with me after all this time with so little time to go. This completely ruins my priorities and such. I admit me and her do not have a whole lot of more personal things in common. Music tastes, and such and she doesnt hunt or like my jacked up truck, but im absolutley crazy about her and have spent a lot of my time and hard earned money on going to see her when i can. Im stationed in florida so its the opposite corner of the country. She left because of an argument we got into about racism. I dont consider my self a racist, but our opinions on such things are different. She does things i do not approve as well, yet i do not judge her for them, and i love her not less because of it. She is an amazing girl, we are both christians and i cannot seem to even convince her to let me come see her during my christmas leave, which breaks my heart. I was deployed for seven months this past year, and she was nearly killed in a terrible car wreck that has left her handicapped with a gimp. it crushed her hips and pelvis and its been a long recovery, but she has done so well with it. And i have supported her with it as much as i could. She thinks that my ideas, will negatively impact our future children, which i have not intentions of spreading hate or anything to my children but because of my up briinging and southern family she thinks thats its going to happen. I love this women to death and have run out of ideas to convince her otherwise. I know this is not something to talk about on here and i am being long winded about it, but i would much appreciate some positive advice.

[gravedigger]

just let it go and move on,dont drive your self crazy.find a woman that likes to do the things you do and vice versa.my wife loves my crawler 4runner and loves hunting,camping and all the good stuff,she is my best friend.

you need to find a woman that can be your best friend and the other way around too.

i only fight with my wife maybe once a year.she is me and i am her,we are one with a no drama house hold.in the long run of things you dont want to be putting your problems off on your future childern

[dzsmith]

We are best friends... That's what her fear is though, putiing problems on future children. When I'm on leave and we are together though we never fight

[boobowbender]

theres little to fight about when your only together a few times a year. well i dont know her and i can't really judge, but whatever is meant to be will happen. hows that saying go--- be carefull what you wish for

[peace]

When a woman breaks up you its pretty much for good. They are wired differently then us. The differences about race issues are the talking points but women have usually a scorecard of a number of things that they feel you have not measured up on that would cause them to breakup with you. The separations that you have experienced if it hasn't made her more committed and fond of you, man up because that party is over.

Don't for a moment think that I am judging you as a man with deficiencies because I am not, I am just saying that from her perspective you are probably not someone she sees going into the future with. It is bad business to try and change that, no matter how much you hurt. You need to pray for God to intervene and heal your broken heart that you will be able to find the one that he has best destined for you.

I am giving this advice based on just the bit that you have revealed, but I would suggest you talk with a pastoral counselor or a mentor that can give you faith based advice and that you may be able to reveal the situation more privately, completely and clearly to you. peace