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Thread: Different ways of looking at things

  1. #1
    Senior Member TEN RING's Avatar
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    Default Different ways of looking at things

    DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS: Or the uncertainty of the English
    language.......................................... ........................
    .................................................. .

    Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
    family values.
    Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
    Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'



    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my
    intelligence come from?'
    The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
    cause I still have mine.'
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
    Judge said,
    'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
    'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then
    I'll try to send her a
    few bucks myself.'
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,
    took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at
    all.'
    'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
    'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
    1. The DNA all matches.
    2. There are no dental records.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll
    take
    to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
    The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
    'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks

    him how he is feeling.
    'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in
    surgery,' he answered.
    'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
    'Oops!'
    ------------------------------------------------------------
    While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of

    bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I
    had
    even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
    'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
    'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
    He's still in intensive care.
    .................................................. ................
    The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive
    clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied
    by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
    The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's
    there!!'
    MARTIN BENGAL
    THE NEED FOR SPEED
    WALMART PRO STAFF SHOOTER

  2. #2
    Senior Member Mike G's Avatar
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    Default

    Thanks for the laughs.

    I think I have a touch of the flu. Feeling under the weather today and this post perked me up!

    Mike

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